A Curse of Motherhood: Why I am Now an Idiot

Before I had children, I considered myself intelligent, sharp, easily able to notice details, find solutions to problems and remember the names of my friends.  Since I have birthed 2 children, and it’s only gotten worse with the second, I know nothing. I can’t remember what day is it, I can’t remember if I ate breakfast today, or that I might need to cook dinner tonight for my family. If you are my friend and I have forgotten your name, I am sorry, because apparently my brain has decided that is not important information at this time in my life. Birthdays? No way, people don’t have birthdays, that is hilarious, and definitely not something my brain would ever remember.

The week before Christmas, I decided to make cookies for, like, every person that I know. All the neighbors, all friends and relatives nearby. I decided I would quadruple the recipe and attempt to smash 4 times the ingredients into my mixer, because that was normal.  Needless to say, half of the batter was mixed in the bowl and the other half oozed out over the side and made Eva laugh hysterically. I had the normal response, cry and then attempt to take turns mixing ¼ of the explosion and then stirring it all together by hand. Yum.

I also made some homemade skin lotions for gifts this Christmas and I printed a nice label to put on the tins. I forgot to list one key ingredient and I wrote the wrong year on the expiration date. Who cares! I’m done wasting labels! No one will notice that it supposedly expired 6 months ago! And if they do, I won’t care or even remember! So, if you get one from me, you’ll know how much anxiety and forgetfulness went into making it. Prior to children, I never would have made mistakes like this. Typos? Forgotten words in writing? Never! I handed out some to some ladies at our church, and I tried to give one to a lady twice because I didn’t remember that I had just given her one 5 minutes ago. Yes, it’s that bad.

I used to love to cook and try new recipes. Now we eat eggs for dinner a lot. Oh, we already ate scrambled eggs 3 times this week? Well, I don’t remember anything about that, so it doesn’t count!

Tell me it gets better and the brain does eventually return to its prior state of health. It’s possible I had this same problem after having Eva and it got better, but clearly, I don’t remember that transition.

I love my children dearly, but I really miss my mind.

The Proverbs 31 Virtuous Wife is an Entrepreneur

I have read this passage many times but I recently read it again and was newly inspired. Proverbs 31: 10-31. The virtuous wife is kind, strong and helps the needy. But, she is also a wise business woman and very hard worker. She wakes very early in the morning and works physically hard with her hands by making things to sell in the market. She takes her profits and buys land and a vineyard to further her business. It says she considers a field before buying, which shows that she takes time to research her idea and is wise about her choices before proceeding. She prepares food and clothing for her family so they are not in need. She is not afraid of future hardships (snow) because she has already considered all options and is ready. She is entrepreneurial because she has various sources of income and is not idle but is continually looking for ways to expand her profits and support her family physically as well as financially.

Proverbs 31:10-31 NKJV (BibleGateway.com)

The Virtuous Wife

10 Who[a] can find a virtuous[b] wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Why I Hate Talking about Politics

We do not subscribe to cable or even own a television. I don’t say this to be prideful, I just am glad we eliminated that thing that wasted so much time and increased unnecessary anxiety in my life. We do have a desktop and a laptop computer so we could watch news online and sometimes we do. But, when we had a television, it was usually in order to flip on the news and see what was happening. And I used to watch a lot of news. What was the point of this? Because it’s important to be informed, right? Especially as Christians, we are told that it’s important to know how terrible the world is and to pray for our evil leaders, etc. There always have been and always will be rulers we don’t agree with in the world. I don’t need to see their faces every day and hear their words to know that they are there. I don’t need to know every issue that is being debated and have a list of evidences of why or why not I agree or disagree. This doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions or believe that those things are important. I’ve just matured enough to understand what is outside the scope of my influence and I now refuse to waste my time thinking or talking about them.

I always vote. How can I vote if I’m not “informed”? Oh, you mean how can I vote if I’m not watching the news every single night and being angry at the people I don’t agree with and cheering on the people I do agree with? I find that game stressful and useless, so I’d rather just know a few simple facts about the candidates, which I can find quickly by reading a few websites and make a decision. The most important issue… is life. It’s pretty simple, I vote for candidates who are ProLife. I don’t vote for candidates who agree with murdering unborn babies. I don’t care to analyze any of the other issues. I don’t care who wants to marry who. I might have a few thoughts about guns, but I don’t care to share or take up much of my time analyzing these things that I can do nothing about.

I am not discouraging people from being involved in politics, but I will not be involved beyond voting. My job is to be a mother, wife, Christian, friend, daughter, and not an arguer of political ideas. I have removed that useless, stressful, previously self-imposed role from my life and I haven’t missed it for a second.

This does not mean that we will never own a television or that I will shelter my children from watching the news, quite the contrary, I think it will be important for them to have a period of time of learning about the political system and watching debates and learning how politicians speak and that time will come, but I won’t emphasize it as a life-long hobby, at least for myself right now.